Countdown to 40

Countdown to 40 Goes Out With A Bang

2010-02-07T06:48:00.012-05:00

Is sex after 40 better? Different? It’s what you really want to know. What else is there to write about?

Well . . . I’m not telling. Not yet anyway.

The 40 Factor is here, and no matter how young I feel on the inside, it’s going to play a role in my life.

Sharing my approach to the big 4 - 0 and beyond through Countdown to 40 was great — one of my best experiences in recent years. For me, it was an exciting and interesting way to connect with friends, family, and colleagues, while meeting new people.

You listened to everything I wanted to share, and you told me how you felt, what I should do, or just encouraged me on. Your comments, e-mails, texts, Facebook posts, and phone calls were greatly appreciated.

So much happened during this time, and I was touched that you wanted to share it all with me.

You heard about how much I love root canal and learned lessons d’amour in LOVE 101. You held my hand as I had two pieces of skin removed and waited for B-B-B-B-B-Biopsy results. We talked about The High Price of Healthy and even higher costs to Take me out to the ball game!

I surprised many of you, because I don’t care how hot you think your ass is. And, after all this time, I’m saying NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! We also learned to better appreciate a well-balanced life and asked, Who are you calling lazy?

We told men to grow up in If boys will be boys . . . and touched the surface of taboo in Let’s talk about sex . . . really. You also helped me through my sulfa allergy ordeal, laughing at Cats, Bees, and Sulfur! Oh my!

I shared my Top Ten Reasons To Be Thankful and my Thanksgiving Prayer in Thanksgiving: The Complaint Department Is Closed.

You entertained My Birthday Wish and joined the fight against hunger in America — spreading the word and raising more than enough money to rescue 40,000 pounds of food. And, together we bid Farewell to 2009.

Countdown to 40 Recap

29 Published Posts
1 Unpublished Post
114 Comments
56 Reactions
Nearly 2,500 Visits (and Counting)
11 Public Followers
1 Make a Difference Drive; 25 Contributions; Nearly $1,000
1 Facebook Cause Page; 82 Members; $190
1 New York Yankees World Series Championship

As I approached the big 4 – 0, I knew that Countdown to 40 could not continue forever. I decided a long time ago that I wouldn’t be 39 (or 29) forever. Of course, I reserve the right to reconsider that decision at some point in the future.

While we say farewell to Countdown to 40, I’d like to introduce you to The 40 Factor — the place for everything about the big 4 - 0 and beyond.

Whether you’re in your 40s, on your way, or getting ready to order your AARP card, please join us. We’ll be talking about everything that’s on our minds . . . from love, careers, health, and the environment, to security, friendships, volunteering, money, and so much more.

I'm looking forward to continuing our journey together. See you at The 40 Factor .

An Inevitable End

2010-02-02T05:47:00.000-05:00

It's almost three weeks since I celebrated turning the big 4 - 0. Part of me still doesn't believe it. I'm 40. Me! 40!

I never felt a connection to any birthday or age, and milestones that impacted others came and went for me.

Somehow, I knew turning 40 would -- or should -- be different. I saw how so many others were effected by this change in demographic group. And, I was mesmerized by the questions and comments that came my way for more than a year.

How will I celebrate?
Am I looking to make any changes in my life?
What am I feeling?
Do I have any regrets?

As I approached the big 4 - 0, I enjoyed sharing my journey with you. Writing this blog was one of the greatest gifts I gave myself in recent years.

I want to thank you all for being part of my extraordinary experience. Your encouragement and support was appreciated every step of the way.

Within a week, I will publish what I believe will be my last post to Countdown to 40, including results to the Countdown to 40 Make a Difference Drive and details of my new blog. Yes, I will be launching a new blog as I close this chapter of my life and begin my next.

So, stay tuned . . . Details are on the way.

Oh where, oh where has Countdown to 40 gone?

2010-01-24T20:51:00.003-05:00

My sincere apologies for not being in touch in the last three weeks. I have several good excuses, but I’ll be more honest with you — my followers, my readers, my friends.

Sure, I could tell you that I gave myself a herniated disc and was in too much pain to spend any length of time at my desk. I could also tell you that I took two weeks off as a gift to myself for my 40th birthday. And, I could mention there were arrangements and errands — lots and lots of errands — for a family gathering and small get-together of close friends.

These are all true, but I know something else kept me from sharing my thoughts. As I considered this over the last week, I realized what was on my mind that stopped me from daring to share.

I have tears in my eyes at the moment, which further illustrates to me how difficult what I’ve been going through is to communicate. It’s actually not one thing, but several that simultaneously converged right before my final stretch to the big 4 – 0.

I felt compelled to hold back from speaking of them here. I was so concerned with what other people thought, with other people’s feelings. I was so afraid to offend some people, who may read the blog, regardless of what they did or didn’t do. I realized, however, that this blog wasn’t created to paint pretty pictures. And, part of having an open, honest forum is talking about the downs along with the ups.

Tonight, I quite selfishly share them with you. By expressing them here, I believe I’ll be one step closer to moving forward and leaving them behind . . . as part of my memories of a very disappointing 40th birthday. I’m sharing them in no order or importance, but as they come to mind.

Since early December, my life was filled with drama surrounding what could have been a small and simple family gathering. The amount of negative energy and unnecessary stress that came my way was unimaginable and took a toll on me. It was so bad I wanted the day to pass more than I wanted the event to take place. And, the drama continued with the plans of my family birthday gathering.

At the same time, my involvement with a local organization took a turn for the worse. Against my original better judgment, I agreed to accept a position on the 2010 Board, without full knowledge of other members or new directions. During the last few months of 2009, it became clear that I could not balance the amount of time needed to serve this group with my happiness, professional needs, and personal life. I, therefore, had to make the very difficult decision to step down before the position took effect.

One of the most important parts of turning 40 for me was doing something meaningful in honor of this milestone, something I could remember forever — more than a trip, better than a party. I chose to raise funds for a worthy cause and even requested that friends, family, and acquaintances donate to a specific charity. I finalized arrangements with the organization at the beginning of December and thought everything was in order. I then went through six frustrating weeks without receiving updates or accurate information.

After expressing my concerns, I received many apologies and explanations from the organization, which is still trying to give me a final count. I’m pretty certain we raised more than enough to sponsor a food rescue truck, but I was very upset by the inability to share the drive’s full success with donors and supporters.

If everything I mentioned above wasn’t enough, I also allowed myself to be heartbroken at the end of the year — on New Year’s Eve itself. I’m usually good at not setting expectations too high, but I subconsciously had them and was let down when they weren’t met. This, too, took its toll.

As I approached the big day, I thought a lot about what I have and haven’t accomplished in my lifetime. I live without regrets and am happy for all of the experiences I’ve been blessed with, but I gave a lot of thought to areas of my life that I would like to devote more time to and new experiences I’d like to have.

I realized that my friends who spent six months or a year thinking about their approaching 40th birthdays did not have this weighing on them during the last two or three weeks of their 39th year. They got this out of the way earlier.

As my birthday neared, I was most surprised by myself, especially my reaction to the lack of interest by my friends and family in what I realized a little too late was a very important milestone for me. Even getting friends and family members to respond for my gatherings was very irritating. Some people made me feel like they thought they were doing me a favor by attending; others needed to be asked many times before they replied.

And, other than by my mother, there was very little attention paid to my imminent change in demographic group. Maybe this was my fault, because I didn’t understand, and therefore didn’t express, what it really meant to me.

By a few days before my birthday, I realized that no one had asked me to do anything on the day itself. I never in my entire life felt so alone. Sure, it fell on a Wednesday. And, I planned my own small get-togethers for the weekend, but not one person planned anything special to mark the day.

My team at work surprised me with delicious cupcakes from Crumbs before I started my vacation. I was very moved and appreciated it.

When the big day arrived, I received many birthday posts on Facebook, which may have been the highlight of my day. Nice sentiments, but sad indeed that this should even be in the running for my 40th birthday highlights.

I received some phone calls, but I was so upset I didn’t speak to almost anyone. And, several of my close friends didn’t even call.

In the end, my parents asked me to have lunch with them, which we enjoyed at one of our favorite restaurants. But, the rest of the day and week was spent running errands, cleaning, and trying to salvage a very disappointing and boring birthday with self-pampering of spa treatments and gifts.

One of my best friends took me out to dinner over the weekend, and we had a good time, as we always do.

My get-togethers were fine. They came and went. The family one went much better than anyone expected. The one with my close friends went well, too. But, as you can tell, neither made a great impact on me. Maybe we’re not supposed to plan our own 40th birthday gatherings. I’m not sure.

So, truth be told, I’ve been overwhelmed with emotion during the last three or five weeks. Heartbroken at times. Disappointed at others. Paralyzed by trying to please everyone but myself. Afraid to express my thoughts. Unable to get passed these challenges and continue with my countdown.

Without question, one of the best gifts I gave myself as I approached the big 4 – 0 and beyond was the opportunity to start this forum to share my experiences, questions, and concerns. I can’t express how much I appreciate everyone who joined me for this extraordinary journey. I’ve learned a lot about myself and so much from many of you.

Now that you know where Countdown to 40 went during the last few weeks, you may be asking yourself what’s next. Many of you have asked me.

Well, at your request and encouragement, I will be continuing with a new blog. Over the next couple weeks, I will be deciding on its name, so the transformation of Countdown to 40 will represent our next journey.

I’ll be in touch soon and look forward to sharing the road ahead.

Thank you for your support and being part of Countdown to 40.

Farewell 2009

2009-12-29T04:47:00.002-05:00

As 2009 comes to a close, it's time for Lisa-Michelle's Year In Review. But, it's also the end of a decade and my thirties. Wow!

What happened in 2009?

The economic crisis effected everyone I knew. It made my already tight budget more challenging but, having learned to live within my means the year before, I weathered the storm easier than most.

In New York, we experienced major layoffs and joblessness. We watched prices drastically rise across the board as salaries were frozen and cut. We also witnessed a new age of smart shopping.

We all got a little older. My friends and I are feeling aches and pains more than before. Ailments of the older generations are now ours. We feel the after effects from shoveling snow, raking leaves, or moving furniture.

For those of us who are fortunate enough to still have our parents with us, we've watched them get older, too. Sometimes this is harder than what we go through ourselves. It's difficult to watch them go through these changes. Dad doesn't walk up stairs or eat anything green. Mom doesn't go too far from the house, because she's afraid to leave Dad home alone for too long. It all happens too soon, regardless of when it actually begins.

We were stricken with swine flu — H1N1. I actually was the first person where I work to have (or admit that I had) it. Throughout New York City and Long Island, Purell stations appeared everywhere, and we were all encouraged to wash our hands well and often. If it was only that simple . . .

Also on the health front, I found out the hard way that I'm allergic to sulfa medications and got myself a pretty new Medic Alert bracelet. I hope nothing else comes my way, because I've run out of room on it.

Although I didn't lose weight or go to the gym more often, I feel healthier than I have in a long time. I believe good health is a balance between mind, body, and spirit.

This year, I focused on fine tuning my life's balance, along with building positive relationships and weeding out the negative ones. I was able to hone in on all that was good in my life and grow personally and professionally. My achievements this year as a coach, on the Long Island Chapter of the International Coach Federation’s Executive Board, and as a volunteer will remain special memories for a long time to come.

It's not easy to say good-bye, but several people, practices, and activities that weren't good for me were sent packing.

I certainly didn’t want to say good-bye to baseball this year, which will be remembered by another championship for the boys in the Bronx.

With the social media explosion, we reconnected with distant relatives and lost friends, and we built our professional networks. Whether we're on LinkedIn, Twitter, MySpace, Facebook, or other sites, we're connecting like never before.

I'm a Facebook junkie and love every minute of it.

Many people are making new friends online, too. I'm usually more cautious than most in this area. When I broke my “only accept people I know on Facebook” rule, I had a crash course in reality, the dangers of identity theft, and Lifelock. It turned out that the measures I already was taking to protect my identity sufficed, but the experience scared me enough to rule out entertaining any future requests.

Like never before, this was a great year for communicating. With family, friends, exes, and even current relationships, I expressed my thoughts, needs, and opinions. Sometimes with fear and other times without. The results were remarkable.

Maybe the venues available have helped many of us open up. We no longer have to confront all of our challenging situations face-to-face. We can comfortably communicate by e-mail, text messaging, instant message/chat, etc. I don’t think any of these should negate the value of looking into someone’s eyes when speaking, but they can help get a conversation started . . . or end others.

I’m not suggesting we give up on live, face-to-face conversations and moments. Some of my best memories from 2009 were times when I was too nervous to speak, when I blushed, when I looked into someone’s eyes and went weak in the knees, when I tripped over my words, and when I saw that I had a similar effect on someone special.

This year also will be remembered as a time when I was open to new experiences and allowed myself to go where my heart desired. I’m so grateful for every moment.

I’ve always lived my life with no regrets, and this holds very true for 2009, too. Every new experience I enjoyed and every door I opened or closed will be remembered well. Every smile, embrace, kiss, touch, laugh, hug, and even tear made this year a very special one for me.

As I reach the homestretch to the big 4 – 0 and beyond, I feel truly blessed to have wonderful people in my life, who make living each day worthwhile, enjoyable, and exciting.

Happy New Year

2009-12-23T05:33:00.005-05:00

With Chanukah behind us and Christmas and New Year's around the corner, I'd like to take a moment to thank all of Countdown to 40's readers and followers for joining me in the second half of 2009. I've appreciated your opinions, support, and kind words.

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas

Warm wishes to you and your families for a fantastic 2010 -- filled with good health, happiness, love, success, and prosperity.

Countdown to 40's Make a Difference Drive has raised more than $300 so far. Thank you to everyone who has joined me in the fight against hunger in America.

My Birthday Wish

2009-12-13T07:31:00.007-05:00

Please join me in the fight against hunger.

One in every eight Americans face hunger each day, many of whom are hard-working adults, children, and seniors struggling to make ends meet. They’re turning to soup kitchens, food pantries, and emergency shelters for help.

Hunger and food insecurity exists across America and has unsurprisingly grown during the last year. Many middle class families who previously contributed to hunger-relief efforts are now in need, trying to find ways to put food on their tables and make sure their children don’t go to bed hungry.

Those who suffer from hunger aren’t too far from your door. I live near some of the most affluent neighborhoods in the country, and yet there was a 30 percent increase in Long Islanders seeking emergency food assistance this year.

You can fill both Yankee Stadium and Citi Field with the estimated number — 93,000 — of children at risk of hunger on Long Island.

With a drastic rise in the number of those in need and expected decline in corporate giving, it’s never been more important for us to help fight hunger.

For more than six months, I’ve been preparing for my 40th birthday or, as I call it, the big 4 – 0 and beyond. And, for more than a year, people have been asking me how I will celebrate this milestone.

I’ve been torn between my annual desire to get together with family and friends, and other meaningful ways to mark this occasion. Recognizing these do not have to be mutually exclusive, I’ve decided to still gather with those close to me and, at the same time, to help feed those in need.

There are many effective philanthropic organizations. Choosing one to benefit from my Countdown to 40 Make a Difference Drive was very challenging, but I’ve considered the options, especially organization effectiveness and impact, and made a decision.

Island Harvest, serves as a bridge between those who have surplus food and those who need it, supplying hundreds of community-based nonprofit organizations on Long Island with critical food support to help stem the advancing tide of hunger.

Since its inception in 1992, Island Harvest has delivered more than 60 million pounds of food. In support of its mission to end hunger and reduce food waste on Long Island, the organization is actively involved in programs to inform the public about the problem of hunger — even in one of the wealthiest regions of the country — and how individuals, businesses, schools, and commercial food establishments can make a difference.

Island Harvest is a member of Feeding America and is the largest hunger-relief organization on Long Island. By relying on volunteers, in-kind services, and donated food, it devotes 97 cents of every dollar contributed directly to its programs.

Please join me in the fight against hunger and make a donation to Island Harvest. Together, we can make a great difference in the lives of those in need. No donation is too small. Our collective gift will make a powerful impact. Whether you give $5 or $50, your contribution will be an integral part of the Countdown to 40 Make a Difference Drive’s success.

As I approach the big 4 – 0 and beyond, I’m focusing on all things 40. So . . . I’m thinking about all the amazing things that $40 can do, like feed a child for five weeks or a family for one week. Wow!

Contributions made in honor of my birthday will be grouped, but the amounts of your gifts will remain confidential. In other words, I will be informed of the names of individuals, companies, and organizations who contribute — without the gift amounts.

We’ll be able to see the total drive results, which I’ll regularly post on Countdown to 40 and on our Facebook Cause page.

Our gifts have the opportunity to make an even greater difference. For every $850 collected, we can sponsor a food rescue truck, which will bring approximately 40,000 pounds of perfectly good food to Long Island.

Making an online donation to the Countdown to 40 Make a Difference Drive is easy at Island Harvet’s donation page.

For “Purpose of Gift,” select “Other”
Leave the field that reads “Name & address of person donation is for” blank
For the field that requests “Event Name/Details,” enter: Lisa-Michelle’s CT40 Drive
Enter the gift amount, and click on “Donate” to continue

You can also mail a check or money order, made payable to Island Harvest, to: 199 Second Street, Mineola, New York, 11501. Please indicate your contribution is for Lisa-Michelle’s CT40 Drive.

If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me.

For more information about Island Harvest, visit www.islandharvest.org or call 516-294-8528.

Information for those in need of resources — and food — is available on Island Harvest's website for Nassau County and Suffolk County.

Thank you all for being part of my journey to the big 4 – 0 and beyond, and for joining me in the fight against hunger.

The Good Life

2009-11-29T18:36:00.003-05:00

There’s nothing like Thanksgiving and a four-day weekend with family, good friends, and good food to remind us how fortunate we are in today’s world.

Like last year, I enjoyed two delicious Thanksgiving dinners, the first with my parents and the second with my god-kids, one of my best friends, and her family. I’ve learned to pace myself, have small portions, and leave room to at least taste everything at both dinners.

Kudos to Sophia for not only adapting chef Paul Prudhomme's Turducken recipe to Turken, but also creating one of the most delicious turkey dishes I’ve ever had.

In addition to great food, one of the best parts of these get-togethers is the people we spend time with. It doesn’t matter that I see almost all of them every week. Holidays aren’t the same without them.

Growing up, we always had large holiday gatherings with most of my mother’s family. I have great memories of my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and extended family laughing, enjoying great food, and relishing the moments. These memories will stay with me forever, even as new ones are created.

Having Friday off was tremendous — not only to recuperate from devouring two complete Thanksgiving dinners. I was able to get the car inspected, have the oil changed, and do all of my errands without any pressure. Since I wasn’t considering even looking in the direction of any retail store or trying to take advantage of Black Friday sales, I enjoyed a relaxing, productive day.

As an added bonus this year, one of my best friends, who now lives halfway across the country, visited over the weekend. We got together with a couple other friends and enjoyed a relaxing Saturday afternoon of girl-talk and catching up.

As I get ready for the big 4 – 0 and beyond, I’m glad to be reminded of what’s important and how I’m truly blessed. I’ve been fortunate to live a good life and am forever grateful.

Thanksgiving: The Complaint Department Is Closed

2009-11-23T05:00:00.005-05:00

Why do people complain so much?

Because they can? Because there’s always someone to listen? Because in our culture, people prefer to hear about negative things instead of positive?

Everyone can't be as unhappy as they seem. Can they?

Every year, I look forward to Thanksgiving. It’s always been my favorite holiday. There’s so much about this day to like: family, friends, food, time off. Did I mention food?

But, what I love the most about this day isn’t about any of that. I love what this occasion does for people. Somehow, it opens our hearts and minds to see the good in our lives and give thanks for our blessings.

For some, this feeling will only last one day. For others, it will last at least through New Year’s.

It’s perhaps the only time of year that people realize that no matter what they’ve been through, there are so many others who have had a more difficult time.

Lisa-Michelle’s Top Ten Reasons To Be Thankful

I'm alive.
I'm healthy.
I’m free.
I’m employed.
I live without want.
I'm blessed with great friends and family — both near and far.
Technology helps me reconnect and stay connected with people I care about.
My dad survived three small strokes, which probably saved him from having a major one.
My year has been filled with love, excitement, and new experiences.
I learn something new every day.

I’m also thankful to be able to share my journey to the big 4 – 0 and beyond with all of you.

Thanksgiving Prayer

May this time of year find you and your family in good health and good spirit, as we come together to thank God for our blessings.
May the years ahead be your best and brightest, filled with good health, happiness, love, success, and prosperity.
May we have the strength to pursue justice and peace, especially for those who cannot do so themselves.
May we cherish the holiday season, enjoying the company of good friends and family.
May your Thanksgiving tables overflow with scrumptious dishes and be surrounded by warm hearts.
May we remember to give thanks and count our blessings throughout the year, focusing on all that is positive and good.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family!

What are you most thankful for this year?

Cats, Bees, and Sulfur! Oh My!

2009-11-19T06:42:00.005-05:00

Add another allergy to my list. This time it’s to sulfur, or at least sulfa antibiotics.

Finding out I’m allergic to sulfur/sulfa was just as much fun as finding out I’m allergic to cats and bees. All three times, I found out by having dramatic reactions.

OK, discovering the dust mite allergy was no picnic, too. But, the reaction wasn’t anywhere in the vicinity of life threatening.

Why do some of us have allergies and others don’t? Why are some serious and others not? I have no idea.

The cat allergy hampers my life the most, and the dust mite one is the most annoying.

I can never go to someone’s home that has a cat. I miss out on parties and get-togethers, can’t visit certain friends and relatives, and sometimes can’t pay shiva calls (visit mourners’ homes).

I’m not sure why, but it seems that a lot of people have cats these days. I tried desensitization, but the cat allergy is so severe that I would need an indefinite amount of time to continue treatment without any guarantee of success. For nine months, I received weekly shots and almost always had allergic reactions during the treatment without making any progress. I gave up . . . at least for now.

Relatives, friends, and camp counselors were more afraid of my allergy to bees than me. After the first reaction, during a hike at sleep-away camp, a doctor told me these calming words, “Don’t worry. Do what you need to do, and if you’re not dead within the first two minutes, then you’ll be fine.” Sure, you may think this was a little bizarre to tell an 8-year old, but it worked.

Now, I can add sulfur/sulfa to my list. What a painful, ugly way to find out that one’s allergic to something. Swollen, burning lips. Burning eyes. Shortness of breath. Coughing. Wheezing. Aches. Fever. Chills. Rash. Blotches. Lightheadedness. Muscle pain and weakness. You name it; I had it.

For those who know me, it’ll come as no surprise that I always read the pharmacy instructions and precautions with every prescription. It doesn’t matter if I’ve already had that particular medication or how mundane the situation. I read every word on those slips. During the time I was on the medication, I was able to decipher between common side effects and serious reactions that required medical attention.

Don’t get me wrong, I also owe a great deal of thanks to my mom, my boss, and some good friends and colleagues for pushing me to get urgent care. Thank you all!

And, what’s another allergy at this point? At least it’s not to ice cream, cheesecake, bread, steak, or potatoes.

I’m adding this to the strange chapter of health-related concerns of 2009, which I hope to close and never revisit. I’m fortunate each incident ended well, but I’m looking forward to a healthier, uneventful 2010.

Who loves a Monday morning quarterback?

2009-11-03T19:05:00.003-05:00

No one!

Do you come in contact with people who always know better than you?

These same people can’t wait to give you their opinions and negative feedback . . . after a project is complete. They’re also scarce when you need a hand or advice.

I like hearing people’s suggestions before and during a project. I truly believe in the Chinese proverb, “When three people walk down the street, one is always learning.” (Thanks, Francis.)

I also enjoy growing from constructive criticism and feedback about areas for improvement. There’s always room for growth and achieving better results.

I’m sometimes challenged by what to do with those people who are involved with a project, don’t share their ideas and suggestions during its implementation, and only offer negative criticism when the project is complete.

After seven months of hard work, the Long Island Coaching Alliance held our first major, public event on Sunday, November 1. So much of the event was a great success and, at the same time, there naturally was room for improvement.

The chairs, three other members of the Executive Board and I, all dedicated much of our free time for seven months to ensure the event would be as successful as possible. We also tried to enlist the help of others and were thrilled that so many people stepped up to the plate.

Many thanks to my fellow event chairs, members of the Executive Board, keynote speaker and award recipient, panelists, and all of the Long Island and New York City coaches that participated in the event.

As it was our first event on this scale, we met with several bumps in the road during our journey. That said, most of the feedback was better than I expected, and I’m grateful to those who shared their positive remarks and constructive criticism.

I am, however, surprised and disappointed by the response I got from one of my thank you notes. The person found it appropriate to point out the things he decided we didn’t do.

I guess he forgot that these were the things we asked for his and everyone’s assistance. I guess he also forgot about the other things he agreed to do, but never followed through on. I guess he didn’t feel it was necessary to share suggestions during the several months he was involved in the event preparation.

Maybe he’s the kind of person who prefers to stand by the sidelines and watch others fumble, instead of offering valuable input during the game.

Well . . . another Monday morning quarterback isn’t what any of us need.

Let's talk about sex . . . really.

2009-10-13T05:38:00.006-04:00

Sex, Sex, Sex! If Cosmo can talk about it, so can I!

What could be on my mind at this stage of the game? For goodness sakes, I'm turning 40! Actually, I'm officially 39.75 today.

Haven't I figured out everything I need to know?

Well . . . It seems to be that the second fascination people are having with my imminent change in demographic group is my sex life. Maybe not my sex life, but that of a woman approaching the big 4 - 0.

There seems to be a great difference in opinion as to whether "it's going to get even better" or "it's all downhill from here." Yikes!

Of course, with all the questions and comments, there are now a few things on my mind . . .

Whenever I hit my sexual peak — at 40 or later — how long will it last?
After the peak, does it have to be downhill from there?
Is a woman's sexual peak all about hormones and their levels, or is it more about her frame of mind?
Will I know when I'm at my peak or only realize I had it once it's gone?
Am I supposed to be doing something about this?

I hadn't thought about sexual peak since high school health education. Forty, which was the age I thought was associated with it for women, has always been a lifetime away.

For most of my adult life, I've been fortunate to have had good relationships with a shared healthy appetite in the bedroom. OK, OK, OK . . . not only in the bedroom. (I can say that. I'm almost 40.)

It's funny now to look back on all these years. At every stage, I thought I reached the best point, and it couldn't get any better. Then, a few months or so later, I'd be amazed at how wrong I was. I vividly remember being in love for the first time when I was almost 21 and how I thought I hit the jackpot. My, oh, my! But as time passed, I realized that was only my first pot of gold.

As I talk with my girlfriends who are about my age, give or take some years in either direction, I realize how diverse we are when it comes to matters of the heart and intimacy but, at the same time, we all feel that we haven't hit our peaks yet and don't really know when to expect them or what they'll really be like.

Trying to find a little peace of mind, I searched for some much needed answers, only to learn there are more differences of opinion than I ever imagined.

So . . . Here are some of the interesting resources I came across:

For the record . . . even after all my research, I haven't found definitive answers to any of my questions. I guess I'll have to accept this, too, as one of life's wonders and learn as I go.

How will I celebrate the big 4 - 0?

2009-10-02T13:03:00.008-04:00

Everyone wants to know . . . How will I celebrate the big 4 - 0?

Ummm . . . I don't know.

People's fascination with whether I'm going to throw a big party, travel to one of my dream destinations, or hide under the covers has made me realize the importance others associate with this particular birthday, similar to 10, 13, 16, 18, and 21. And, I guess 50 and 65.

OK.

Since I celebrate every birthday and many half-birthdays, too, I guess I didn't expect there to be such an interest in this aspect of my journey to the big 4 - 0 and beyond.

Now, all the questions and suggestions have gotten me thinking about it.

I'm pretty sure I won't be hiding under the covers, unless I'm sharing them with the man of my dreams.

And, I won't be traveling this year . . . unless I finally win the lottery.

So, that leaves throwing a big party. Right?

How big?

A few days ago, I started to make a list of people I'd invite and to ask myself lots of questions. Who do I want to share this moment with? Who do I think possibly wants to share this moment with me? Is this party for grown ups only? Do I include family and friends in one gathering?

Well . . . I think I have more people on this list than I had at my bat mitzvah, so in the words of my ancestors, "Oy vey!"

What number would I reach if half my family and friends weren't scattered around the world?

Do they do 40th birthday parties at Madison Square Garden or Yankee Stadium? I'm sure they do, but that's not in my budget.

More importantly, is a big party for a few hours really what I want?

Sure, they'll be pictures to post on Facebook. LOL. But, will this create a milestone memory I'll want to keep forever?

No, I don't think so, and I already did that at 30.

Hmmm . . .

The more I think about it, the more I want to do something meaningful. Something worth remembering.

I already have some ideas, but I haven't hit the nail on the head. So . . . I'm turning to you.

Help me find something interesting, meaningful, and fun to do for my 40th birthday, where I can involve 50 to 150 (or more) people between the ages of 4 and 80.

If I choose your idea, I'll not only give you credit, but I'll also send you 40 home-baked cookies.

Post your idea here by Friday, October 9, 2009, or send an e-mail to lisa-michelle@acetherace.com.

Things to consider:

My birthday is in January, and I live in New York. In other words, it'll be very cold outside.
I'm deathly allergic to cats.
All venues must be wheelchair accessible.

Thanks, everyone. I can't wait to read your ideas!

Sweet Recipe for Success

2009-09-29T05:47:00.008-04:00

Ever wonder why some people are successful and others aren’t? I do.

I’m not talking about lottery winners. I’m talking about people who work for it and make it, or even make it big.

The approach to the big 4 - 0 and beyond has me thinking about a lot of things, including areas that people look to me for guidance and support.

So, why do some people achieve what others only dream of?

First, let’s recognize that success means something very different to each one of us. Not everyone is looking to be a CEO or the next Oprah Winfrey.

Second, I think we can agree that those who achieve great things have a keen vision of what they’re trying to accomplish and where they’re going.

Next, regardless of the goal, the path to success is paved with a well thought out plan, which considers the best routes, bumps in the road, and alternatives. It also explores how to address weaknesses and challenges.

Finally, a real victory can only be achieved through dedication and hard work. Even though you may have some lucky breaks in life, you’re going to have to earn your success.

Sweet Recipe for Success

1 part Your Definition of Success
1 part Vision and Focus
1 part Strategic Plan
1 part Hard Work and Dedication

Whatever you’re trying to achieve, I wish you all the best.

I’ve received a lot of requests to share more recipes, so here’s another one to enjoy with my Sweet Recipe for Success.

It’s So Easy Cranberry Cobbler

1 can Whole Cranberries
1 can Crushed Pineapple, Drained
6 McIntosh Apples, Shredded
1 teaspoon Cinnamon
2 cups Oatmeal
1 1/2 cups Unbleached Flour
1 1/3 cups Brown Sugar
1 cup Butter or Margarine, Softened

Preheat the over to 350º F. Mix the fruits with the cinnamon. In a separate bowl, mix the dry ingredients with the butter or margarine. Grease a 13” x 9” pan. Place half the oatmeal mixture on the bottom of the pan. Spread the fruit mixture evenly in the pan. Crumble the remaining oatmeal mixture on top. Bake for 40 minutes.

Enjoy!

If boys will be boys . . .

2009-09-25T18:00:00.003-04:00

Men should be men.

No?

At what age do we stop excusing a man’s behavior under the guise of boys will be boys? 25? 30? 35? 40? 45? 50?

Stop me when I reach the magic number.

I always find it amusing when a friend of mine justifies a man’s poor behavior based on the excuse that boys will be boys.

Now, all of you men who are reading this don’t take immediate offense. If this doesn’t apply to you, then move on graciously . . . like a man would.

As I prepare for the big 4 – 0 and beyond, I’m taking a look at many things, including what I find acceptable — and unacceptable — in the way I’m treated by a man.

No, I don’t believe there’s only one way to behave. If that was the case, then life would be incredibly predictable and boring. I merely have expectations for how all people should treat one another, along with what I think are reasonable suggestions for those starting or involved in any relationship.

Show me respect, and show me that you want it, too.
Be honest.
Have an opinion — and share it.
Stand up for what you believe.
Mind your manners.
Listen, and be heard.
Be kind to those around you.
Don’t be afraid of me.
Take charge (when appropriate).
Keep your inner child without being childish.

Once someone has mastered those 10 steps, we can talk about more advanced lessons.

I’m a lucky lady. I’ve always been surrounded by good people and inspired by great role models — men and women alike. I know we’re all capable of treating each other well, if we’re so inclined.

So, no more excuses for either sex.

I’ll continue to allow boys to be boys . . . but expect men to be men.

Who are you calling lazy?

2009-09-19T09:27:00.018-04:00

Have I reached the peak of laziness? No! I'm just striving to live a balanced life.

As I get ready for the big 4 - 0 and beyond, I’m doing more to simplify many areas of my life, making some things easier and freeing up time.

This year, my mom and I are sharing the preparations and cooking for the Jewish holidays. She knows I love to cook and bake, and I’m usually very happy to go it alone. She must have been surprised when I accepted her offer to help out. Remembering my mom’s great cooking, I also was secretly waiting with great anticipation for these meals.

After we finalized the menu and split the dishes to prepare, I found myself — for the first time — thinking about shortcuts in the kitchen. I knew they existed, but I haven’t been a fan.

In recent years, I’ve been amazed at the amount of shortcuts used on cooking shows. It seems like most of our celebrity chefs are teaching us how to open up a can, just add water, and mix in a few extras. Staunch food snobs like myself have turned up our noses and declared these ways not on par.

But, I’ve reconsidered and am admitting I’m wrong. There are ways to save time in the kitchen and still produce healthy, tasty, and economical meals.

I’ve been helping people live balanced lives for more than 10 years. We focus on time management, commitments, lifestyles, levels of importance for activities, positive and negative implications, and realistic expectations.

As my own responsibilities and commitments grow over the years, I regularly evaluate my life’s balance and make adjustments. When I do this well, I feel good and thrive in all areas of my life.

Finding acceptable shortcuts to prepare my favorite dishes is a great alternative to losing my coveted time in the kitchen. It’s win-win all around.

Many of you have asked me to share some of my recipes on Countdown to 40, so I’ve chosen this opportunity to introduce the first one.

Lisa-Michelle’s No-Time-To-Spare Potato Kugel (Potato Pudding)

1 Bag (30 oz.) Ore-Ida Country Style Hash Browns Shredded Potatoes, Defrosted
6 oz. (1/2 12 oz. Bag) Frozen Diced White Onions
2 Teaspoons Minced Garlic
6 Eggs, Beaten
1/2 Cup Unseasoned Matza Meal
1 Teaspoon White Pepper
1/2 Teaspoon Salt

Defrost the shredded potatoes overnight in the refrigerator. If they’re not fully defrosted, spread them on a cookie sheet while preparing the rest of the ingredients. Preheat the oven to 350º F. Brown the onions and garlic in a nonstick pan with cooking spray or a drop of olive oil. In a large bowl, mix all the ingredients well. Grease a 13” x 9” pan, and add the potato kugel mixture. Bake for 50 to 60 minutes till golden brown.

Enjoy this dish and having more time for whatever you want or need.

Best wishes to you all for a healthy, happy, good, balanced, tasty, sweet, and successful year.

You want it all . . . and you should have it!

2009-09-13T10:14:00.027-04:00

We want it all, or so we say. But, success is defined by actions and achievements, not by our thoughts of what could or may be.

There are so many things I want to achieve in life. As I approach the big 4 - 0, I'm thinking more and more about everything I want to have, give, share, enjoy, develop, and leave behind.

It's not easy staying on top of our hectic 21st-century lives. Let's face it. It's not easy just staying on top of our inboxes. But, you don't have to go it alone.

One of the greatest developments in recent times is the emergence of the professional coach. I'm not just saying this, because I'm a certified coach. Partnering with a coach is a powerful resource that can help you move forward and overcome obstacles.

Most of us have dreams, aspirations, and ambition. Everyone -- at every stage of life -- has goals on some level or another.

You've probably heard of life, executive, or career coaches. You may have even heard of business, weight-loss, workplace, creativity, relationship, transition, spirituality, work-life balance, adolescent, or retirement coaching.

But, you may not know what a coach does or how coaching exactly works. So . . . it's time to shed a little light on this tremendous resource.

You can partner with a professional coach to achieve remarkable results whether you're looking for your next promotion, figuring out your ideal career, want to simplify your life, trying to find a new job, improving your company's bottom line, seeking a more healthy lifestyle, writing a book, working through relationship challenges, starting your own business, approaching retirement, coming out of the closet, or anything else you want to accomplish.

During my coaching certification course, I benefited greatly from partnering with a coach to focus on my needs and goals. Today, we continue to coach one another on new objectives, often achieving better results than we would on our own.

I'm not knocking either one of us. Maybe we eventually would have reached the same levels of success, but we've been able to accomplish much more in a shorter period of time.

Coaching makes sense. Partnering with someone who is a nonjudgmental sounding board and helps you explore opportunities to move forward and achieve your goals is a great asset.

Many people think coaching is out of their reach financially, but there are affordable options, including group coaching; teleclasses; and workshops offered by community centers, libraries, colleges, and high school adult education programs.

Along with three peers -- fellow Long Island Coaching Alliance Executive Board members -- I'm chairing an event to introduce the world of coaching to Long Island and greater New York.

How To Thrive In Today's World -- An Afternoon With New York's Top Coaches will be held at Farmingdale State College on Sunday, November 1, 2009, from 1:00 to 4:00 p.m. The program includes:

Keynote Speaker and Inspiration of the Year Award Recipient, Judy Martin, News 12 Long Island and Founder of WorkLifeNation.com
Your Success Is Our Business! Panel Discussion
Exhibition of New York's Top Coaches
Networking Opportunities

If you would like to learn more about coaching, join us on November 1st. The event is being subsidized by the Long Island Coaching Alliance and costs only $20.00 per person. It's a great opportunity to meet some remarkable coaches in a wide variety of fields.

Working together with a coach helped me maintain my focus, clarify objectives, and achieve goals in a timely manner. It also helped me explore areas of myself I wouldn't have tapped into.

I hope to see many of you on November 1st. Feel free to ask me any questions about coaching if you can't make it . . . or if you can't wait.

Can you see the green?

2009-09-07T13:25:00.012-04:00

Recently, I saw one of my colleagues heading to the garbage with a plant. Most of its leaves were wilted, brown, and curled. Its soil was dry and cracked.

I’m sure it’ll come to you as no surprise that I was unable to control myself and asked her where she was going with the plant.

She told me the plant was left by a former employee a few months ago and, even though someone else in the office tried to occasionally care for it, the plant died.

You can imagine the look on my colleague’s face when I told her the plant wasn’t dead and shouldn’t be thrown out.

She pointed out all the dead leaves and cracked soil. She mentioned how sickly and sad it looked.

I pointed to the few traces of green and began asking questions. Where was the plant kept? In direct sunlight? In an area without light? How often was it watered?

She told me she found it on the windowsill. She wasn’t sure about the water, but we were both pretty sure that it wasn’t getting enough.

I told her I’d be willing to care for it, once I found out what was best. She said she’d be happy to care for it, if I could help her find out what it needs.

By now, we were joined by another colleague and getting advice from several passersby.

I looked between the dead leaves and pulled out the plastic instruction tab that comes with most plants. It read something along the lines of: Peace Lily — Keep away from direct sunlight. Keep soil moist.

We began removing the dead leaves and noticed more green than before. The dead ones were blocking our view. We even noticed a bud waiting to bloom.

Two months later, this is the most beautiful plant in its row. Its stems and leaves are bright green and erect. It has more flowers than I imagined possible.

Fascinated by its complete recovery, I read about this beautiful plant online. I found out in a study conducted by NASA that it’s one of the top 10 plants for fighting Sick Building Syndrome by effectively removing formaldehyde, benzene, and trichloroethylene from the air.

When I saw the plant being taken to the trash, I had no idea how taking care of it in turn would provide a benefit to everyone in the office. I only thought of saving the plant.

I walk by it so many times each day, I couldn’t even guess how many. I still notice its beauty each and every time.

Our lives may not be as simple as those of plants, but we owe it to ourselves to shake off our brown leaves; recognize our potential; seek nourishment — of the mind, body, and soul; reach out to those around us; and thrive.

This Peace Lily is no longer just a plant to me.

It’s a reminder of how each one of us is different and, when properly nurtured, we all have the potential to grow strong, thrive, and make the world a better place.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

2009-08-24T20:15:00.003-04:00

No! No! No! No!

No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!

No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!

No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!

There. I said it.

Here it is one more time.

No!

This message is for every person who takes advantage of my difficulty saying it.

This message is especially for those who should know better.

This message is for the pushers — the ones who hear my no, but find another six ways to ask me, wearing out my no till it becomes a yes.

Most importantly, this message is for me.

I'm 39.5+, and it's time I learned to say it — and mean it!

Practice makes perfect, and I'm going to become very good at No! Get ready, everyone . . . besides the man of my dreams. You'll almost always hear YES!

No is just as important in our lives as yes. It helps define who we are and want to be.

So, watch out! I'm working on No! I don't have a choice. Neither do you.

Know your limits. Set boundaries. When the pushers come at you time and again, push back. Eventually, they'll respect you more or go away. Either way, you won't be burdened or overextended.

Join me. Embrace your No!

What are you going to say No! to now?

I don’t care how hot you think your ass is!

2009-08-20T19:33:00.010-04:00

Save it for your myspace page.

Summer in New York. It’s hot. It’s humid. We’re all trying to stay cool, but there’s no need to lose all semblance of reason.

Working in New York City, I get to see it all. Everything. The fashionistas. The rock stars. The hipsters. The sports fans. The celebrities. You name it, we see it.

There are some things, however, I’d be happy to miss. I don’t need to see your thong — and what’s not in it — through your tight, white skirt or pants.

I don’t think it has anything to do with my getting older and approaching the big 4 – 0. I’ve always felt there’s a time and place for everything.

You may spend hours in the gym working to shape that perfect derriere. You may have been given a glorious, natural gift. I don’t care.

Save it for the beach or the bedroom.

While we’re at it, I don’t want to see anyone in public with:

black bras under see-through shirts,
red, blue, green, or purple ones, too,
exposed muffin tops,
visible bra straps, and
low rise jeans with any thong sticking out the top.

Who dresses these people?

And, since we're talking about cleaning up one’s stay-cool summer appearance . . . I don’t want to see pedicure-deprived feet in open shoes. That goes for all you men, too!

Take me out to the ball game!

2009-08-15T17:16:00.012-04:00

Please!!! Bill Gates? Oprah Winfrey? Donald Trump? Mayor Bloomberg? Can anyone take this Yankee fan to a game?

There’s almost nothing I want more. I can’t think of anything other than winning the mega-millions jackpot and spending a month on a private, luxurious, isolated, tropical island. So, until I come up with the winning ticket . . . I’m sticking with baseball.

During this time, as I prep for the big 4 - 0 and beyond, I’m focusing on thoughtful spending and my future financial freedom. Going to the ballpark just doesn’t fit in.

I have great friends — avid baseball fans like me. We love the game and everything about it. We used to go to as many games as possible each season. When we couldn’t get tickets — because the games were sold out — we found ourselves watching in our favorite pubs and restaurants.

I guess I’m still going to as many games as possible. This year, that would be none.

Knowing I’m on a tight budget, my friends want to treat me, but this girl is starting to see the experience in a whole new light.

It's true that one doesn't have to spend an arm and a leg just to show up to the game. There are different price levels. Although one of my best friends is a Bleacher Creature, I prefer a more comfortable experience.

Comfort = $$$$$

I want to see the game. I want to feel like I’m in an oversized schoolyard or park with 52,325 of my closest friends.

I don’t want to bring binoculars or a zoom lens to read the numbers on the backs of opposing team jerseys. Of course, I don’t need to see the numbers to know who’s who in pinstripes. From a mile a way, I can recognize each player from the way he walks, stands, bats, throws, and even spits.

Let’s face it. The seat is only a fraction of the cost. I like my ballpark experience to include a hot dog or two, maybe some peanuts, and at least one round of drinks for my friends. Back in the day, it also included a pre-game outing.

If I bring my god-kids, then we’re talking about a whole different ball game, just like Disney on Ice or the circus. They love these experiences, which I also consider important exposure for their growth, so it’s more than worthwhile . . . when we can pull it off.

It doesn’t matter at which ballpark; going to a game is expensive. The new Yankee Stadium, however, has 444 concession stands, 13 dining and lounge options, and four team stores (11,560 sq. ft.).

So many enjoyable ways to spend, spend, spend!

But, somehow I’ve grown a whole new appreciation for watching the game at home on my comfortable couch, with real-time commentary, healthier food options, close-up shots, a clean bathroom without lines, instant replays, and post-game interviews.

I still enjoy almost every game with my favorite Bleacher Creature. Our VIP seats are 24.5 miles apart — from couches on Long Island to the Bronx.

We both have unlimited text messaging and average 30 messages a game — from It’s high, it’s far, it’s gone! to Jeter's on fire! from Hip, hip, Jorge! to Godzillaaaaaaaaaa!

Being die-hard Yankee fans, many of our messages would be inappropriate to share here. Most of them pertain to a certain New England team or umpires in need of eye exams.

The message I miss the most this year is MOOOOOOOOOOOSE!

Our favorite message is always The Yankees Win! Theeeeeeeeee Yankeeeeeeeees Win! (Thank you, John Sterling.)

Please don’t mistake me. As much fun as we’re having, I’m not giving up the ballpark forever. We’re just going through a phase — a temporary separation. We’ll be back together soon enough, because nothing beats a ball game.

Till then . . . anyone have an in with the Mayor?

Online Answers to Lower Your Food Cost

2009-08-13T04:54:00.005-04:00

Today, there’s more information at our disposal than we can ever imagine being able to access.

With a few clicks of a mouse and keyboard touches, you can learn about breaking news, last night’s game, concert dates, who’s dating who, weight-loss tips, how to carve a pumpkin, how to almost anything, and even how to lower your food cost.

A simple lower your food cost search on Google yielded 23,400,000 results. If I add additional specifications, the number of results would decrease, but I would receive options that even better suit my needs.

Take advantage of everything today’s information explosion has to offer. When you find sites that meet your needs add them to your favorites, bookmark them, or become a follower.

When it comes to The High Price of Healthy, I’m already on my quest to figure out a better way. As I come across worthwhile sites, I’ll share them with you.

10 Super-Cheap Chicken Recipes @ myrecipes

Healthy Budget Friendly Recipes @ EatingWell

Budget Recipes @ Taste of Home

Budget Wise @ Kraft Foods

Disney’s 15 Dinners Under $1.50

FiLife's Frugal Recipe of the Week

Not all of these sites present only healthy food options, but there’s almost always a way to adapt recipes to better suit our nutritional needs. And, lucky for us, there are sites addressing that, too.

Heart-Healthy Cooking with Recipe Substitutions

Lowfat Cooking Tips: Substitutions in Cooking & Baking

Cooking Southern (but Healthy) Tips and Recipes for Home-Style Meals

Visit these sites for more information on lowering your food costs.

How to Lower Your Cost of Living and Still Have a Life

Lower Your Food Costs While the Temperature Rises

Lower Family Living Costs

6 Ways to Lower Your Food Cost

Don’t forget to check out coupon sites.

Shop At Home

Cool Savings

Short Cuts

Have any thoughts on healthy eating on a budget? Share your ideas, success stories, and recipes.

Ten Steps to Lower Your Food Cost

2009-08-11T20:26:00.003-04:00

1. Stay away from expensive stores.

2. For fresh produce, buy only what you need and know you'll use.

3. Don’t let food go bad. Finish fresh produce and leftovers before making new purchases.

4. For meats, buy family packs or sale items. Split and freeze in portion sizes. Don’t forget to write the date on them and use them in order of purchase.

5. Shop around for the best prices. Check out weekly circulars.

6. Clip and use coupons.

7. Find out which markets in your area double coupon values or accept competitors’ coupons.

8. Shop at wholesale membership warehouses, but make sure to shop around for the best prices. Sometimes, there’s little to no cost savings on certain items. Don’t forget to use their coupons.

9. Buy seasonal produce at local farm stands.

10. Buy in bulk and split with family or friends.

The High Price of Healthy

2009-08-09T19:28:00.002-04:00

During the last six months, as I tried to motivate myself to return to a healthy lifestyle, I was often discouraged by the costs of healthy living — fitness programs, healthy food, stress reduction and relaxation, weight management, vitamins, etc.

It’s no surprise that obesity and poor health is prevalent in much greater proportions with lower-income households. It’s not just about the impact of celebrity endorsements and trends. It’s also about budgets and priorities.

We’re an educated society. We know what’s good for us. Making good choices is sometimes difficult.

The United States Food and Drug Administration Recommended Daily Allowances suggests a daily income of four to six fresh fruits and vegetables per person.

According to the American Cancer Society, increases in vitamin C can also help lower cancer risk. It suggests the increase should come from a wide variety of at least five servings a day of fruits and vegetables and not from supplements.

The costs of five servings of fresh fruits and vegetables a day for seven days is more than what I currently spend each week on food.

Like many others, I want to lose weight and safeguard my health, but I find it difficult to achieve on such a tight budget.

During the week, I most often bring my breakfast and lunch from home, while I watch others spend $15 every day. I spend less than $25 a week for all my meals during work, instead of their $75.

I’m lucky I love to cook and make my lunches. With lower sodium contents and no preservatives, I’m already packing much better options than many of my friends.

There is, however, great room for improvement. While I’ve concentrated on meeting my budgetary needs, my dietary needs have suffered. It wasn’t a difficult decision. Pasta and rice cost less than arugula and apples. Ground meat with higher fat percentages cost much less than boneless chicken breast or fish.

But, enough is enough.

In life, there comes a time when we need to take a step back, evaluate, and sometimes redirect ourselves. Now — as I approach the big 4 – 0 — is that time. When it comes to our health, we shouldn’t put it off.

As I mentioned in Good-Bye Mint Chocolate Chip, I want to put up a good fight and prevent diabetes, high cholesterol, and high blood pressure from ever knocking on my door.

Sure, the budget is tight, but I’m going to have to find a way. I’ll have to give up something else, because this is too important to ignore. At the same time, I’m going to look for ways to eat better without breaking the bank.

Being healthy has its costs, but living an unhealthy life takes a quick toll on us today and sometimes leaves us with irreversible damage.

I welcome your suggestions on healthy eating on a tight budget. I know many of you have the same challenge. Let’s share some ideas and help each other.

B-B-B-B-B-Biopsy?

2009-08-05T07:25:00.002-04:00

Thursday afternoon, I’m having a piece of skin removed. There’s a medical term for it, actually two — one for the type of piece of skin and another for the procedure.

Even though the very kind, thorough, and gentle doctor told me both their names, I have no recollection of what she said. All I remember from the conversation is when she said biopsy, which caught me off guard.

I’ve had this tiny extra piece of skin, which is how I refer to it, for many years. It’s never grown since I noticed it and doesn’t bother me.

Vanity motivated me to look into having it removed. I never thought this tiny extra piece of skin could be anything but that.

I’m not worried. The doctor is allowing three weeks to pass from the time of my visit till the procedure. We know doctors don’t wait if they have any concerns.

This fall, I’m also having something else removed. On my face! I guess that’s why I refer to that one as this thing on my face. No one but me knows it’s there, if I don’t point it out. That one has a different medical term but, like the conversation about extra piece of skin, I only remember biopsy.

The removal procedure, whatever it’s called, for this thing on my face, will be the same. I’m even less concerned about this one, because it was originally scheduled six weeks after my visit, before super vanity kicked in. I requested to reschedule when I realized the bandage I’ll need to wear for a week would still be on my face a few days before Labor Day. Sorry, but I have plans.

Biopsy is a scary word, even when you’re sure like me . . . 99% sure everything will be all right.

As I’ve gotten older, too many of my friends have had bouts with cancer and even more have had many a biopsy.

My good friend, and cancer survivor, just got great — benign — results on her latest biopsy. Of course, I told her right away that everything would be fine, but I admit I was a little concerned while we waited to hear.

Maybe I disconnected during my doctor’s visit, because hearing biopsy sometimes brings me back to waiting for the results after my throat surgery. After months of poking and swiping, measuring and guessing, blood test after blood test, my doctor told me with tear-filled eyes that the team of experts decided I most likely had a disease from a list I care not to repeat.

They prepared me for the worst and sent me to pre-op.

That night, I went for a haircut, had it nearly shaved to my scalp. It wasn’t going to do that to me, at least not to my hair. At the time, someone very close to me was battling another version of it. Day after day, I saw what it did to her. (May she rest in peace.)

When you’re waiting for biopsy results, every minute seems like an hour, every day feels like a week.

I remember the moment I found out. I was still in excruciating pain, couldn’t even whisper, and was preparing myself for the worst. Waiting for the call. That call.

I never could have imagined a stranger or better surprise.

My doctor — the sought-after, top-notch, genius, chief of ENT Surgery — called to tell me how happy he was that they were all wrong. I didn’t have any of the diseases on the list I care not to repeat.

Simply, I’m allergic to myself. I kid you not. Well . . . that’s how I describe it.

I have several allergies, including a very annoying one to dust mites. But, I’m also allergic to the mucus my own body produces as a result of my dust mite allergy. Seriously.

This ridiculous biological malfunction wreaked havoc on my throat, my health, and my life for months, but I’ll take the absurd over the fatal any day.

There I was with a nearly shaved head, and all I eventually had to deal with was life with less carpet, little to no curtains, and more cleaning.

With such a bizarre and funny outcome, one could think hearing biopsy wouldn’t have any effect on me.

But, biopsy is still biopsy. Someone is removing a piece of you and examining it or, as we’ve come to understand, looking for bad things.

Each word carries its own weight. Some, like biopsy, are heavier than others.

So, extra piece of skin and this thing on my face will both be removed by some procedure, and I will have two biopsies.

I’m sure I’ll be fine. God willing, I’ll be laughing at this, too, very soon.

Good-Bye Mint Chocolate Chip!

2009-08-01T05:41:00.007-04:00

Take that bagel with you, too.

As I approach the big 4 – 0, it’s time to check out the inventory. My inventory. I’m content with who I’ve become. I’m not saying there isn’t room for improvement, but I know I’m where I need to be in life and well on the road to where I want to go.

As I take stock of me, I realize I’m storing a little too much in too many places. No, I’m not going to tell you how much I weigh, and Countdown to 40 isn’t going to parallel Bridget Jones’ Diary with her daily weight-loss updates.

I’ll even resist the temptation to outline my reasons and excuses for why I gained weight and stopped exercising. I’ll take my own advice, leave history in the past, and focus on moving forward.

My weight loss will not only make me feel better about how I look on the outside, but it also will promote better health on the inside. It’ll be worth my weight loss in gold, if I can break my DNA’s vicious cycle and prevent diabetes, high cholesterol, and high blood pressure from ever knocking on my door.

There are five and a half months till my birthday, and I need to set a goal. As much as I’d love to have a supermodel’s body, I don’t think I’ll have enough time.

So, what should I aim for?

If I dedicate myself to eating well most often and exercising four times a week, I can lose eight pounds a month. I know I can. That’s about 40 pounds. When I think of it in eight-pound increments, it doesn’t sound too hard. It sounds realistic and achievable, two of the most important characteristics of a goal.

The positive support of my friends and family will also be crucial. I’ll have most of their cooperation and will avoid the saboteurs at all cost. Sorry, saboteurs, this is too important.

I’ll also have the benefit of attending some events along the way, which is always great incentive to try to look one’s best. This fall will be packed with lots of them: a high school reunion of sorts; several friends’ 40th birthday parties; a professional conference; and maybe even jumping out of someone’s 45th birthday cake. (Just checking to see if you’re paying attention.)

Losing 40 pounds should also help me drop four dress sizes. Right?

Well, if that’s the case, I’m in — losing 40 by 40 it is.

LOVE 101

2009-07-26T12:24:00.007-04:00

Love is as much of an object as an obsession, everybody wants it, everybody seeks it, but few ever achieve it, those who do will cherish it, be lost in it, and among all, never . . . never forget it. — Curtis Judalet

After 39.5+ years of contemplation, research, and experience, I consider myself an authority on love. Well . . . at least what love means to me. It may have taken me all this time to figure it out, but I’m no less proud of my accomplishment.

As corny as it may sound to us today, for me love is a many-splendored thing. (Thank you Paul Francis Webster.)

As you read this, there are millions of people in love, making love, showing brotherly love, cherishing the love between a parent and a child, clinging to unconditional love, suffering from unrequited love, and loving their friends, relatives, pets, and more.

You most likely will not be surprised by nearly all those on my unconditional love list: mother, father, brother, sister-in-law, niece, nephew, pseudo-nieces and nephews, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, godchildren, best friends, friends, some ex-boyfriends, and former lovers. They made it to my inner circle, the place in my heart where they will be welcome and loved forever.

Most of us have an easy time with unconditional love. We may not understand why or how it exists, yet we accept it without question.

But, it’s the love that inspired Shakespeare, the Beatles, Jane Austen, and so many more that boggles our minds and intrigues us to no end.

Walk into a crowded room and discover you’re eyes are fixed on those of a stranger. Pass a colleague in the hall and find yourself smiling long after he’s gone. Reach for a book at the same time as a friend and notice how long you both hold on until clumsily letting go. These are all signs of something special — different and intense.

What happens next may move a spark or chemistry forward on the road to love, or it could lead to a crush, friendship, or even disappointment.

You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep, because reality is finally better than your dreams. — Dr. Seuss

When two people recognize a special connection and spend time exploring possibilities, love may shine — brighter than a summer’s day. It glows and grows till you know. You know how special it is. You know how much you can’t live without it. You know you’ll do whatever it takes to keep its fire burning.

You know you’re in love.

The beauty of love is that it means so many different things to us all, and we cannot thrive — or possibly live — without it in some form.

When we open our hearts to the many kinds of love, we unlock the unlimited supply of this beautiful gift and everything it has to offer.

Love doesn’t make the world go ‘round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile. — Franklin P. Jones

I love root canal!

2009-07-23T17:24:00.003-04:00

I bet you never thought you’d hear someone say she loves root canal. Well . . . let me be the first.

I’ve experienced many changes in my lifestyle in the last 10 years. One of the most extreme differences is the decrease in my disposable income.

I’ve moved around and changed careers, along with places of employment. For six years, I’ve worked for a nonprofit organization. Many of us who choose to serve the community through nonprofit employment face a difficult internal struggle — service and satisfaction versus higher incomes and everything that comes along with them.

In addition, one of our challenges in life is that nothing happens on its own. While my love for giving back was growing exponentially, I also decided it was time to set up a plan to eventually live debt free, not an easy feat considering I was still paying for my MBA, medical expenses, moving costs, my previous lifestyle, and so much more.

Focusing on what I refer to as my financial freedom plan, my budget is tight — tighter than silver spandex disco pants.

I’m not complaining. I’ve chosen to give myself the gift of a future debt-free life, which will take time and a little sacrifice to achieve. I want to tackle this now, so 40 and beyond will not be a time of struggle and want.

Where I run into challenges are the areas that really shouldn’t be considered optional: car maintenance, allergy shots, and dental care to name a few.

I’m one of the fortunate ones who have dental insurance. Even so, the costs of dental care, other than routine checkups and x-rays, are astronomical.

Today, many of my friends and colleagues are in the same boat – regularly taking care of our teeth has become optional. Until the need is great. Until you have one cracked tooth on each side of your mouth. Until you can no longer chew anything. Until you’re in so much pain you can’t sleep.

Until optional becomes necessary.

Dealing with the dental insurance’s bureaucracy is a tedious chore, leading one to believe that it’s established to ensure people do not use its services.

Until . . . after weeks of increasing pain, four days of phone calls to assign an in-plan dentist who’d be willing to see me without waiting till the following month, an initial exam, and waiting two more weeks for authorization of services . . . I finally had the first of two necessary root canals.

It was great. I was in so much pain. After three shots of novocaine on both sides of the tooth being treated, I needed shots injected directly into the nerve. The dentist was kind enough to let me know how much it was going to hurt before he inserted the needle.

Ninety minutes in the dentist’s chair. Drilling. Killing the nerves. Sore gums. Sore cheeks. A temporary filling that didn’t last for the five minutes it took me to drive to the pharmacy. Eight days of antibiotics. $800.

Two days later . . . I'm passed the insurance company's red tape, I don’t hear the drilling, I’m not numb, and I don’t care about the missing temporary filling.

All that matters is I feel no pain, so let me be the first, or perhaps the only one, to tell you . . . I love root canal!

SWF, 39.5+, seeks fun, meaning, adventure, satisfaction, good health, happiness, love, success, and so much more.

2009-07-20T05:54:00.011-04:00

Welcome to Countdown to 40 — the blog dedicated to the next six months of my life.

On Monday, July 13, 2009, I reached the ripe age of 39.5. As usual, I enjoyed the occasion with colleagues and friends, who always appreciate the snacks but wonder about a woman my age who celebrates six-month birthdays.

This year, and for the first time in my life, I feel different. Different isn’t bad. It’s just different. I’m thinking more about life — what it’s been and what it’ll be. The people who stood by my side and helped shaped me into who I am today. Those who meant so much to me and aren’t with us any more.

Since I never experienced apprehension about any upcoming age, the approach to 40 fascinates me. Many of my friends have already reached this milestone, and their reactions — and actions — differed greatly. I think the commonalty we all share is recognizing this particular year means something to each one of us.

So, what’s on my mind?

There’s so much I want to know. So much I want to get in order. So much I want to share.

How will I prepare for the big 4 – 0 and beyond?

In this next stage . . . what will I be doing and thinking?

Who have I become? And, more importantly, who do I want to be?

What have I done to help those in need? Where can I do more?

Does my DNA dictate my future health?

Will I find love again?

. . . and so much more.

Forty is coming. I hope you’ll join me on my journey and share your thoughts, experiences, and advice. We’ll have a good time, laugh, learn, and grow.