LOVE 101

Love is as much of an object as an obsession, everybody wants it, everybody seeks it, but few ever achieve it, those who do will cherish it, be lost in it, and among all, never . . . never forget it. — Curtis Judalet

After 39.5+ years of contemplation, research, and experience, I consider myself an authority on love. Well . . .  at least what love means to me. It may have taken me all this time to figure it out, but I’m no less proud of my accomplishment. 

As corny as it may sound to us today, for me love is a many-splendored thing. (Thank you Paul Francis Webster.) 

As you read this, there are millions of people in love, making love, showing brotherly love, cherishing the love between a parent and a child, clinging to unconditional love, suffering from unrequited love, and loving their friends, relatives, pets, and more.

You most likely will not be surprised by nearly all those on my unconditional love list: mother, father, brother, sister-in-law, niece, nephew, pseudo-nieces and nephews, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, godchildren, best friends, friends, some ex-boyfriends, and former lovers. They made it to my inner circle, the place in my heart where they will be welcome and loved forever.

Most of us have an easy time with unconditional love. We may not understand why or how it exists, yet we accept it without question.

But, it’s the love that inspired Shakespeare, the Beatles, Jane Austen, and so many more that boggles our minds and intrigues us to no end.

Walk into a crowded room and discover you’re eyes are fixed on those of a stranger. Pass a colleague in the hall and find yourself smiling long after he’s gone. Reach for a book at the same time as a friend and notice how long you both hold on until clumsily letting go. These are all signs of something special — different and intense.

What happens next may move a spark or chemistry forward on the road to love, or it could lead to a crush, friendship, or even disappointment.

You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep, because reality is finally better than your dreams. — Dr. Seuss

When two people recognize a special connection and spend time exploring possibilities, love may shine — brighter than a summer’s day. It glows and grows till you know. You know how special it is. You know how much you can’t live without it. You know you’ll do whatever it takes to keep its fire burning.

You know you’re in love.

The beauty of love is that it means so many different things to us all, and we cannot thrive — or possibly live — without it in some form.

When we open our hearts to the many kinds of love, we unlock the unlimited supply of this beautiful gift and everything it has to offer.

Love doesn’t make the world go ‘round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile. — Franklin P. Jones

I love root canal!

I bet you never thought you’d hear someone say she loves root canal. Well . . . let me be the first.

I’ve experienced many changes in my lifestyle in the last 10 years. One of the most extreme differences is the decrease in my disposable income.

I’ve moved around and changed careers, along with places of employment. For six years, I’ve worked for a nonprofit organization. Many of us who choose to serve the community through nonprofit employment face a difficult internal struggle — service and satisfaction versus higher incomes and everything that comes along with them.

In addition, one of our challenges in life is that nothing happens on its own. While my love for giving back was growing exponentially, I also decided it was time to set up a plan to eventually live debt free, not an easy feat considering I was still paying for my MBA, medical expenses, moving costs, my previous lifestyle, and so much more.

Focusing on what I refer to as my financial freedom plan, my budget is tight — tighter than silver spandex disco pants.

I’m not complaining. I’ve chosen to give myself the gift of a future debt-free life, which will take time and a little sacrifice to achieve. I want to tackle this now, so 40 and beyond will not be a time of struggle and want.

Where I run into challenges are the areas that really shouldn’t be considered optional: car maintenance, allergy shots, and dental care to name a few.

I’m one of the fortunate ones who have dental insurance. Even so, the costs of dental care, other than routine checkups and x-rays, are astronomical.

Today, many of my friends and colleagues are in the same boat – regularly taking care of our teeth has become optional. Until the need is great. Until you have one cracked tooth on each side of your mouth. Until you can no longer chew anything. Until you’re in so much pain you can’t sleep.

Until optional becomes necessary.

Dealing with the dental insurance’s bureaucracy is a tedious chore, leading one to believe that it’s established to ensure people do not use its services.

Until . . . after weeks of increasing pain, four days of phone calls to assign an in-plan dentist who’d be willing to see me without waiting till the following month, an initial exam, and waiting two more weeks for authorization of services . . . I finally had the first of two necessary root canals.

It was great. I was in so much pain. After three shots of novocaine on both sides of the tooth being treated, I needed shots injected directly into the nerve. The dentist was kind enough to let me know how much it was going to hurt before he inserted the needle.

Ninety minutes in the dentist’s chair. Drilling. Killing the nerves. Sore gums. Sore cheeks. A temporary filling that didn’t last for the five minutes it took me to drive to the pharmacy.  Eight days of antibiotics. $800.

Two days later . . . I'm passed the insurance company's red tape, I don’t hear the drilling, I’m not numb, and I don’t care about the missing temporary filling. 

All that matters is I feel no pain, so let me be the first, or perhaps the only one, to tell you . . . I love root canal!

SWF, 39.5+, seeks fun, meaning, adventure, satisfaction, good health, happiness, love, success, and so much more.

Welcome to Countdown to 40 — the blog dedicated to the next six months of my life.

On Monday, July 13, 2009, I reached the ripe age of 39.5. As usual, I enjoyed the occasion with colleagues and friends, who always appreciate the snacks but wonder about a woman my age who celebrates six-month birthdays.

This year, and for the first time in my life, I feel different. Different isn’t bad. It’s just different. I’m thinking more about life — what it’s been and what it’ll be. The people who stood by my side and helped shaped me into who I am today. Those who meant so much to me and aren’t with us any more.

Since I never experienced apprehension about any upcoming age, the approach to 40 fascinates me. Many of my friends have already reached this milestone, and their reactions — and actions — differed greatly. I think the commonalty we all share is recognizing this particular year means something to each one of us.

So, what’s on my mind?

There’s so much I want to know. So much I want to get in order. So much I want to share.

How will I prepare for the big 4 – 0 and beyond?

In this next stage . . . what will I be doing and thinking?

Who have I become? And, more importantly, who do I want to be?

What have I done to help those in need? Where can I do more?

Does my DNA dictate my future health?

Will I find love again?

. . . and so much more.

Forty is coming. I hope you’ll join me on my journey and share your thoughts, experiences, and advice. We’ll have a good time, laugh, learn, and grow.